Everyone has bad hair days. But not everyone has to. Why wear hats or shave off your hair or buy expensive scrunchies when you can just take a simple pill?

ENTAXIL combines two medicines, Eupilac® (emlapasipine mescopontylate) and Entilor® (intorvaspastatin caltibasciheltimelnitascaldecium). Eupilac is used to deactivate the enzymes in blood plasma that foster bad hair; Entilor is an addictive narcotic that helps you remember to take the pill on time by reminding you with helpful little tremors and hallucinations.

ENTAXIL is not for everyone. It is not for women who are nursing, are pregnant, or ever want to become pregnant. It is not for those with livers, kidneys or work that is dependent on eyesight. When taking ENTAXIL, tell your doctor if you feel any emotions or have thoughts. This could be a sign of an uncommon but serious impending brain explosion. The most common side effects of ENTAXIL are permanent headache, eye ejection, and genital shriveling. Do not take other medications when taking ENTAXIL, as ENTAXIL may become jealous. Your doctor should do blood tests to check your liver function before and during treatment even though this is generally futile. If you have any heart problems, be sure to tell your doctor, as heart problems are a serious thing.

In studies, ENTAXIL had an effect in 91% of cases. In 38% of cases, this effect was a reduction in bad hair. In 23% of cases the effect was a craving for gummy bears, and in the remaining 40% an immediate powerful laxative effect was achieved.

Those with a family history of bad hair may see less of an effect from ENTAXIL. It's recommended that you take ENTAXIL a week before an expected bad hair episode. This gives ENTAXIL a chance to build up in your body and make plans for the most effective attack of your bad hair. You may smoke during your ENTAXIL treatment, but you will not be able to hear while smoking.

Some patients have reported changes in behavior, agitation, depressed mood, and suicidal thoughts or actions while taking ENTAXIL or after stopping ENTAXIL or when considering taking ENTAXIL or when family members are taking ENTAXIL. If you notice these feelings or behaviors, report it to your doctor. Though, honestly, he's heard it all before and he doesn't really much care.

If you find you are exhibiting uncharacteristically undisciplined sexual behaviors while taking ENTAXIL, report them to our customer service department in as much detail as possible. Photos or videos are particularly helpful.

ENTAXIL is available in a variety of different doses. Experimenting with different dosages and combining ENTAXIL with different forms of alcohol is the best way to discover what works best for your particular body chemistry and your personal risk profile. Your doctor may suggest a dosage plan, titrating the dose up over time, but then it's not his hair, is it?

It’s important to take your medicine on a regular basis. With ENTAXIL, you take one pill, eleven times a day, and these should be spaced out evenly throughout the day. If you miss a dose, DO NOT DOUBLE THE NEXT DOSE. Wait until the end of the day and take six pills, then fourteen the next morning. The resultant unpleasant side effects will stay in your memory and make it unlikely that you will forget a dose again.

The health information contained herein is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace discussions with a healthcare provider. But do bear in mind that discussions with a healthcare provider are often dry and monotonous and most doctors love to hear themselves talk so much that you can barely get a word in even if it's a critical fact about the symptoms you're having or a really clever remark and anyway who can carry on a decent conversation when their butt is sticking out the back of one of those gowns. But it's your choice. This product information is intended only for residents of the United States. It is especially not for Belgians.

 

©copyright 2009, Cary Hammer